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Break down their ''issues" in to several steps Listen without judgement Don''t try to solve their problems Support/encourage Problem solving with them Praise good behaviour - be specific! Minimise fuss for bad behaviour Get them to experience consequences of bad behaviour Support them by showing empathy And remember, your children might not necessary remember everything you told them, but they will remember how you made them feel!
• 3/4 cup vanilla yogurt • 1/2 cup almond or soy milk • 2 large dates (pitted) • 2 tablespoons chopped California walnuts • 1 tablespoon fig jam • Fresh figs, honey and walnut pieces
Even though you might be going through some really difficult times at the moment. Being it emotional, financial or physical, the findings are showing that there are five areas of growth for those who have experienced traumatic events: 1. Discovery of new opportunities not available before. 2. Closer relationships with other people, especially those who are experiencing the same trauma or grief. 3. Greater appreciation for life. 4. Greater sense of personal strength. 5. Spiritual growth. When you are feeling low and have a feeling of hopelessness and despair, it is hard to pick yourself up from that state of mind. That’s why your social network – friends and family, are your most important resources in times like these. They are a very important step to your overall recovery. As well, I suggest to my client to have a recovery list somewhere in the house in an “emergency” when they feel stuck and have nothing positive to say about their future. A list like this is made on a day when they are feeling good and hopeful about their future. It’s a list to themselves to feel better. Some of the things on my list are: 1. Exercise. 2. Seeing a friend. 3. Sleeping. 4. Having a massage. 5. Seeing a funny movie. These are only suggestions. Some of the things on my list might not even be to your liking, but you get the drift. These are the things that make me happier or more open for a shift in my thinking. The objective is to do something different from what you are doing in the moment of your sadness or despair. These activities can change your internal negative tape which runs inside your head when you feel down. It is important to make a personal note to yourself stating what makes you feel better and how long it takes for the change to occur. This is how you can see for yourself that it is possible to shift your thinking and at the same time, not only learn about yourself, but also grow as a person by overcoming various challenges in your life.
1. Spend down time with friends and family even if it feels hard at first. The benefit: The company of friends unconsciously reminds us that we’re lovable and worthwhile, as well as providing distraction from the greyness of our low mood thoughts. 2. Write down a word or two about simple pleasures at the end of your day. The benefit: Low mood-generating thoughts tend to come flooding into our minds when we first wake up. If we can distract ourselves from these with positive memories from the day before we are likely to start our day in a more hopeful mindset. Keep up this routine for three weeks and you will be relieved to find your low mood ebbing away. 3. Don’t just sit there! Exercise, even just half an hour of brisk walking, swimming, cycling or running that raises the heart rate consistently acts as a powerful mood enhancer. The benefit: It is particularly effective at erasing depressive and anxiety symptoms. Feel-good hormones, serotonin and dopamine are pumped into our bloodstream during exercise which powerfully lift our mood. And their effects can last for several hours after the exercise has finished. 4. Drink less alcohol. Drowning our sorrows may have the short term benefit of distraction, but too much alcohol can reek havoc with our overall mood. The benefit: Alcohol is a well-known depressant. Minimising the blues-inducing after effects by drinking less or even not at all if you are sensitive to this nasty side effect is crucial to not bringing your mood down any further. 5. Become your own CBT therapist Cognitive behavioural therapy is effective because it exposes our negative thoughts with the brisk gaze of reality. “Of course I didn’t get that promotion, I’m just rubbish,” we tell ourselves, as if everyone we meet is secretly given a press release outlining our incompetence. This just isn’t true. We’ve been employed before. We’ve had jobs in the past. More likely, with this particular job our face didn’t fit. This is no basis from which to accuse ourselves of being “rubbish.” The benefit: By writing down what our inner critic is saying and challenging ourselves with an honest and fair appraisal we expose this voice for the mean, untruthful character it really is. We should all keep this mantra in mind; just because our mind tells us something about ourselves, doesn’t mean it’s true.
